China Vs. The Boy Scouts

Want more proof that globalization is bad for kids? We're not talking about the usual Wal-Mart Flip Flops Of Rash-Covered Doom this time:

Now China is poisoning The Boy Scouts.

Here's some rainy-day fun for you: here's the Boy Scouts Law. See how many of these China, those who would cheapen us all with globalization, and those who apologize for them are breaking!

TRUSTWORTHY
A Scout tells the truth. He keeps his promises. Honesty is part of his code of conduct. People can depend on him.

LOYAL
A Scout is true to his family, Scout leaders, friends, school, and nation.

HELPFUL
A Scout is concerned about other people. He does things willingly for others without pay or reward.

FRIENDLY
A Scout is a friend to all. He is a brother to other Scouts. He seeks to understand others. He respects those with ideas and customs other than his own.

COURTEOUS
A Scout is polite to everyone regardless of age or position. He knows good manners make it easier for people to get along together.

KIND
A Scout understands there is strength in being gentle. He treats others as he wants to be treated. He does not hurt or kill harmless things without reason.

OBEDIENT
A Scout follows the rules of his family, school, and troop. He obeys the laws of his community and country. If he thinks these rules and laws are unfair, he tries to have them changed in an orderly manner rather than disobey them.

CHEERFUL
A Scout looks for the bright side of things. He cheerfully does tasks that come his way. He tries to make others happy.

THRIFTY
A Scout works to pay his way and to help others. He saves for unforeseen needs. He protects and conserves natural resources. He carefully uses time and property.

BRAVE
A Scout can face danger even if he is afraid. He has the courage to stand for what he thinks is right even if others laugh at or threaten him.

CLEAN
A Scout keeps his body and mind fit and clean. He goes around with those who believe in living by these same ideals. He helps keep his home and community clean.

REVERENT
A Scout is reverent toward God. He is faithful in his religious duties. He respects the beliefs of others.

Wal-Mart: Trying Hard Not To Poison Your Kids This Christmas... For Less!

Wal-Mart has released it's all-important strategy for its continued domination of your local economy this holiday season: lowest prices on the twelve most popular toys this Christmas. There's nothing new about that: what's new is Wal-Mart telling you that these are the twelve most popular toys. It's a shame they didn't think of this in time to move those toxic rash-causing Chinese made flip flops off the shelves faster.

Wal-Mart: Always Pavlovian Pricing?

And speaking of responding to stimuli, Technorati.com rang a bell and told me to do this:

Technorati Profile

So I did.

Captain America Vs. Cheap Wal-Mart Crap!

It used to be that America needed a hero to protect it from those who would take away its basic freedoms. Since that's a done deal now, what America needs protection from is its own bargain-hunting, whether it's shoddy flip flops from China causing a rash, or globalization sending all the jobs away.

(Click on the picture to make it bigger)

Wal-Mart Flip Flops Continue To Cause Rashes, And A Rash Of Complaints, But No Action

The mainstream media hasn't had a whole lot to say yet about the ongoing issue of the Wal-Mart flip flops that cause a nasty rash.

Maybe this just isn't a big enough story yet. A hundred or so customers... big deal, right? This almost seems to be the approach take by John Matarese, consumer reporter for ABC2 News in Baltimore. Mr. Matarese's take on the made-in-China flip flops:

"Should you avoid these products?

No, according to doctors, who say anyone can have an allergic reaction to anything. Wal-Mart has released a statement saying it has sold 7 million of these flip flops with almost no complaints."

Yes, a few... even a hundred... out of seven million is not a huge percentage. And I recognize that even a well-run large system can produce large effects. I also recognize that the phenomenon known as "mass hysteria" can happen. I don't think this is what that is at all.

Whether you want to believe in it or not, this rash keeps spreading.

I received an e-mail from Gary Allen, who tells a strangely familiar tale...

"... I picked up a pair of flip flops in 2006 at a K-mart in IL. My sores ended up on the bottom of my feet, and progress to the insides, to my hands. I do believe that there is something wrong with these flip flops. The soles where about the same on the pair I got. I wanted something that would give my more height in the shower in case of any standing water. They were black, with tread (?) on the top, and slipped right on, with no catch for the toe.

I noticed a rash, and little zits/bumps starting to form. It would itch like I've never itched before. My 1st thought was that I finally got athletes foot, or some kind of bacteria from some warehouse or something. It would come and go. I finally got to a doctor, and they had no idea what it was. They treated it as athletes foot and prescribed a cram with a steroid. That seemed to clear it up for a bit.

The skin started to crack, very deep as some had stated in her [Kerry Styles'] site. My feet would swell. Skin would peel, and if I peeled it, would start to take some of the good skin with it. I started to wonder if maybe I had contracted some flesh eating bacteria, as bad as my feet were getting. I had gone through 3 packs of socks, due to the infection oozing, and no relief.

One thing I have figured out from all of this, is that the zits/bumps will puss for a day or 2, and can spread what ever this is. Like I said, it has progressed to my hands, and my girlfriend has started to develop the bumps on her chest, and feet after I have touched her."

In the meantime, there is absolutely nothing new from Wal-Mart about this, except reports of individual stores pulling the flip-flops off the shelves on a hit-and-miss basis... brave move to make in September, Wal-Mart.

So, what does it take to get an official statement from Wal-Mart? I'd like to know.

So would Gary Allan. Here's the picture...

Wal-Mart: You Want It Cheap And Nasty, Don't You?

Wal-Mart is about to change it's advertising approach. No, this doesn't mean they'll be spending ad money on a much-needed apology for their dangerous flip flops or for slowly strangling the North American economy.

The new strategy? "Save Money, Live Better." Put that up on the wall at a Chinese slave pit to inspire your employees.

The funny thing is that Wal-Mart itself appears to be ready to do some serious spending itself. Rumour has it that Wal-Mart is looking to eat a big chunk of retailer Tesco.

It's a fine line between "corporate expansion" and metastasis.

So really, should anyone in North America care about this? Isn't the idea here that a free market will find its own level? Surely, Wal-Mart's rampant capitalist success makes the North American economy more free, not less... right?

As a matter of fact, the North American economy is so free that even a shlub like me can own a piece of the world's biggest retailer. All I have to do is work hard, save money, buy some shares. That's how it works.

So when is a free market not a free market? When one retailer eats its competition, then finds other things to eat.

...And then it sells shares to a government-sponsored investment fund owned by the world's largest totalitarian government.

Whether you're an economic patriot, or just don't want to poison yourself with cheap toys and shoes, Wal-Mart wants to eat you alive.

More FuQing Wal-Mart Flip Flop Details

After entirely too long a search, I have located the website for FuQing Yongchao Shoes of China, the manufacturer that rash victim Kerry Styles was told to contact about her painful, blistering rash.

Have a look for yourself. You tell me if there's anything there about this. All I see is... lots and lots of cheap flip-flops. How surprised will you be if it turns there are more horror stories out there?

It wouldn't surprise Kerry, who keeps updating her site with more horror stories from more people.

I spoke with Kerry Styles via the miracle of Yahoo Messenger. Her comments:

"...first of all they say they only have 9 complaints, I think they may need to double check their numbers, because according to MY stats there are alot more, see here:

http://www.lamanaphotography.com/walmart6.htm

...secondly, they are pulling them, great, but they should have done this much sooner and tested them, AND it seems as if this is kind of like applying a band aid on a gushing head wound.

I could be wrong, I have said that from the very beginning, but I really don't think so, I really really think something is wrong with these shoes."

Me too, Kerry. Me too.

Wal-Mart Doesn't Recall Flip-Flops, Woman Recalls Not Being In Pain

You may recall the case of Taylor Vanover, the woman whose cheap Chinese-made flip flops burned her feet. It seemed like an isolated case at the time.

Meet the feet of Kerry Styles, but be warned... we're talking about CSI-quality rash photograpy.

In the meantime... the rash keeps spreading.

And spreading.

Yes, Wal-Mart is taking the offending footwear off their shelves. You'd like to think they'd have the decency to 'fess up and announce a recall, wouldn't you?

Nah. This is, after all, Wal-Mart.

So, what's Wal-Mart's response? And curse you, Fox News, for making me quote you...

"The company is also testing the Sand-N-Sun flip-flops and may continue to sell the line of shoes in the future once they find out more about the causes of the chemical burns. “Of the seven million sold, there were 10 cases of people having a reaction with them,” said [Wal-Mart spokesman John] Simley. “We have to know what we’re dealing with first. Clearly, seven million people were OK wearing them.”

In general, Silverberg said, flip-flops are usually not an issue because of the small area of skin being exposed to the shoe, and those who are allergic will notice a reaction within a couple of hours."

For flip-flop wearers who do have a chemical reaction to their shoes or any other synthetic shoe that is rubber based, Silverberg recommends that they visit a dermatologist to get a prescription for a topical cream like hydrocortisone and get a contact allergy test — a patch test where the doctor places pieces of allergens on a patient’s back to find their specific allergy."

To summarize Wal-Mart's response:

-If it's good enough that only a few people suffer horrifying lesions, then it's good enough. Period.

-We won't admit there's a problem until it gets much larger.

-This whole thing doesn't warrant an actual recall, just pulling current stock off the shelves... maybe until it's all forgotten. The next Summer Fashion season is only nine months away, after all...

-Since flip-flops only contact a small part of your skin, it's not like it's etching your whole face off or anything. Jeez.

-If a large corporation drains jobs away from your country by replacing locally-made products with mass-produced toxic crap from a dollar-fifty-a-day-wages overseas slave pit, and those products make you skin burn and peel... consult a physician.

Wal-Mart: Always Low Standards?

My Secret Plan To Defeat The Chinese

(SCENE: The War Room. GENERAL CHIRONBOY paces back and forth in front of a graphic projection in multi-colored vector graphics of the US and China. Angry red arrows flow from China to various points on the US map, where they terminate in little Wal-Mart smiley faces surmounting crossbones. GEN. CHIRONBOY addresses a large circular table with about forty attendees)

GEN. CHIRONBOY: Gentlemen... that includes you, Condi... enemy forces are scoring tremendous victories with Operation Overfeed The Running Dog Of Capitalism Until It Chokes On Its Own Vomit. The continued flood of crappy, dangerous cheap stuff has packed every major population centre in North America, and most of the small ones too.

Well, now it turns out that the Chinese have, in all likelihood, compromised the security of numerous US government networks. It says here (gesturing to LCD screen rising silently out of the desk top) “The PLA [People's Liberation Army] has demonstrated the ability to conduct attacks that disable our system... and the ability in a conflict situation to re-enter and disrupt on a very large scale,” said a former official, who added that the PLA has also penetrated the networks of US defence companies and think-tanks. One senior US official said there was “no doubt” that China was now monitoring email traffic on unclassified government networks.

Gentlemen, today we strike back. The Chinese tried to leverage our material wealth against us, and that's exactly the weapon we're going to use against them. We're going to beat them with that, and one of the greatest technological developments of the last century: spam.

(With a flourish, GEN. CHIRONBOY unveils a standard desktop PC)

Meet Project Enduring Discount!

CONDOLEEZA RICE: That's ridiculous!

GEN. CHIRONBOY: Hey, according to popular semi-conservative news source Breitbart.com you're pretty much a total wash as a Secretary Of State. This plan's going to cost about a billionth of what any of your ideas have, and this one will actually work. "Project Enduring Discount" will flood all government interpersonal e-mail addresses with spam designed to undermine Chinese society, the same way their poisonous toys and exploding pyjamas have undermined our economy. Soon the Chinese monitoring semi-secret government e-mail addresses will be exposed to millions of authentic-looking spam e-mails like this:

Dave:

Thanks for the invitation to golf. Unfortunately, my personal staff of cheap Mexican labourers have been crying out for attention lately, so I will be spending the weekend on Viagra (I'm driving to the drug store in my new SUV!) dealing with them individually... the most attractive ones first. After that, if I'm not completely worn out, I will be rolling naked on the floor of my 5000 square foot home surrounded by a truckload of new consumer products. After that, I will be enjoying one of 700 television stations.

Thanks for the invitation, though. Maybe next weekend we can get together and eat hundreds of cheeseburgers. The high-protein diet helps keep my penis large.

Thanks,

Fred.

Six months of that and the Commies will be falling all over themselves for some discount democracy of their own!

PRIVATE PARTZ: (Clearing throat) Um, excuse me sir... but US government e-mails are already being flooded by spam.

Specifically, Chinese spam.

GEN. CHIRONBOY: Oh. (Pauses to think) I guess we're screwed, then.

Wal-Mart Flip-Flops Induce Rash

A Texas woman named Taylor Vanover has discovered the high cost of low prices. A one-dollar pair of flip-flops have induced a rash bad enough that she went to Emergency with it. Others are reporting the same symptoms.

The country of origin? China, of course. Storm management at the Gun Barrel City Wal-Mart (it's Texas: that's the place's real name) advised her to... get this... contact the manufacturer.

Good thing they didn't tell her to contact "the responsible party." I looked: there's no phone number listed for "huge conscienceless corporate greed."

UPDATE: Latest news HERE!

This Little Piggy Ate The Market

Once upon a time there was a fine little piggy named Walton. Of the many pigs on the farm, he was easily the smartest and the most efficient. Pigs are a good thing to have around, after all... they produce so much more protein than a bean stalk usually will. So naturally, the farmer loved him. Walton gained weight better than any of the other pigs.

One day Walton had a brilliant idea. He decided that he could get plumper if he ate the feed for the other pigs while they weren't looking.

And he did.

Then Walton decided he could get even larger if he started eating the chicken feed too... which he did. He even cut special deals with the manufacturers of the pig feed and the chicken feed so that he could get more of it than anyone else for less. And Walton got bigger.

Then Walton started eating chickens one by one. There were an awful lot of them, so no one noticed if a few went missing. Even as more and more chickens (and the occasional pig and cow) went missing, no one asked any questions. Everyone simply marveled at what a huge, fine, powerful, gigantic pig Walton had become.

Then one day Walton ate all the chickens. Then he the farmer. Then he ate all the other male pigs, mated with the females, and produced thousands of piglets. The piglets moved to other farms where they ate all the feed and the chickens and the other pigs and the farmers too.

Soon the planet was overrun with huge greedy pigs, and everyone was forced to bow down before them.

In a related story, Wal-Mart has announced it is planning to open 6600 in-store medical clinics in the US in the next five years.