Monday, February 26, 2007

The Day I Quit Telus

Everyone in their right mind with a decent soul has to hate large corporations... especially large corporations who lie about outsourcing. This is my resignation letter from one such Wretched Hive Of Scum And Villainy:

December 8, 2006

Dear Bryan:

This is to inform you that my last day as a TELUS employee will be December 22, 2006.

I am no longer able to work here as it is causing me to suffer from a condition known in psychiatric circles as "cognitive dissonance"...

This stems directly from the TELUS Statement Of Corporate Values:

We embrace change and initiate opportunity

Ignoring for a moment the question of whether a corporation can have "values" any more than it can have "kidneys" or "a fondness for jazz music," let's look at how I am supposed to apply these at my job.

I'm trying really hard to embrace some of the changes that have happened here over the last year or so, but I have to admit I'm still baffled. It seems that with the number of orders I have to correct every day and the number of customers I speak to who say they're calling AGAIN because they "couldn't understand the last agent they spoke to" that I cost the company about half what a person in Manila costs to do the same job. Again, this may be a failing on my part, but I just can't see how that helps anyone. All of this has left me sad and withdrawn, and generally unable to perform my job as I'd like.

Besides, wireless is the future. Is that good news?

Personally, I suspect that in the long run wireless is as likely to replace land line as television was to replace movies or movies were to replace theatre or theatre was to replace reading. It seems that The Powers That Be are determined to let the land line network -- built over a century with billions of tax dollars -- die of slow neglect. I'm not sure how else to explain all the Mobility ads I see on TV, as opposed to all the ads for land line service I DON'T see.

In conclusion, let me leave you with these words, which were spray-painted in gigantic letters on the TELUS tower in a dream I had a few days ago:


I am not an expert in dream interpretation, but I suspect this was a warning about the experience we leave our customers with each and every time they struggle with IVR only to get someone they don't understand who works in the wrong department.

Thank you for the experience,

Matthew Currie

Also, this is where I put my photo:

1 comment:

Microsofty said...

I finally read this one and named it! "GOOD FOR YOU!" :)