Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Stupid Human Tricks (Updated)

John McCain is announcing on Letterman tonight that he's running for President.

I don't pretend to know a lot about politics, American or otherwise, but I know what I'd do if I was in his position. I'd run now and do my damnedest to look like a decent honest guy. McCain is, after all, the Republican Who Doesn't Believe In Torture. A few years in a tiger cage will give a guy silly Liberal notions about the Geneva Conventions...

And I'd lose, but I'd try to lose with dignity, like Bob Dole. Bob Dole's a cranky old coot, but people love him anyway. Then I'd sit back and maybe write a book and do a lecture tour and wait for either the Angry Mob With Torches to descend on President H. Clinton (as you just KNOW they will)... or wait for the Obama-Bomb to go off (you just KNOW it will). Then I'd run.

And I'd win too. America has the stomach for two terms with either a woman or a black guy as President... but The Machines Which Really Run Things won't allow it. You know I'm right.

Then I'd win. Yeah, baby. Then I'd be a legalizin' machine... all kinds of crazy shit. That'd be sweet.
Update, August 27/07: Six months later, McCain is still the only anti-torture Republican candidate, but as time goes on he looks less and less likely to get the nomination. And I still suspect that the above-unnamed Powers That Be are still going to pull a Florida with the 2008 elections.
Also the same since February: my penchant for crazy shit. Oh yeah.

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