My friends. My dear, dear Friends:
I have been away from you, walking the dark paths of my own soul. But I return to you Enlightened, and bearing a message of Salvation.
I have given my heart to Our Lady And Saviour... Mothra.
Whenever the nefarious King Ghidorah attacks Earth... usually starting with Japan... all it ever takes is for someone to open their heart to the eternal warmth and love of Our Gigantic Insectoid Mistress, chant her sacred song... and Mothra will arise to smite the menace.
Unlike other religions, this actually works, and I can prove it.
Alberta Premier Ed Stelmach recently announced that Alberta would be collecting almost-but-not-quite reasonable royalties from Big Oil. Big Oil had previously said they would take their money and go away if Stelmach did this.
Naturally, as all Albertans, I was quaking in terror at the thought of the petro-giants taking Alberta's Big Money Fix away.
Immediately after Ed made his announcement, I fell to my knees in prayer to Mothra, that we all may be saved.
And guess what? Petro-Canada has announced that they're still gonna buy oil from us, like they needed it or something!
Praise you Mothra. We are weak, but you are strong.
I have been away from you, walking the dark paths of my own soul. But I return to you Enlightened, and bearing a message of Salvation.
I have given my heart to Our Lady And Saviour... Mothra.
Whenever the nefarious King Ghidorah attacks Earth... usually starting with Japan... all it ever takes is for someone to open their heart to the eternal warmth and love of Our Gigantic Insectoid Mistress, chant her sacred song... and Mothra will arise to smite the menace.
Unlike other religions, this actually works, and I can prove it.
Alberta Premier Ed Stelmach recently announced that Alberta would be collecting almost-but-not-quite reasonable royalties from Big Oil. Big Oil had previously said they would take their money and go away if Stelmach did this.
Naturally, as all Albertans, I was quaking in terror at the thought of the petro-giants taking Alberta's Big Money Fix away.
Immediately after Ed made his announcement, I fell to my knees in prayer to Mothra, that we all may be saved.
And guess what? Petro-Canada has announced that they're still gonna buy oil from us, like they needed it or something!
Praise you Mothra. We are weak, but you are strong.
.
5 comments:
You really are a very childish blogger .
And you, dear sir or madame, are religiously intolerant. Also, damned.
Smite the blasphemer! Smite him!
...
She'sa cookin' something up...
Someone's in the kitchen with Mothra! Servin' it up Big Gypsy Style! Oh yeah, brutha, sing it!
I also worship Mothra. I have been petitioning to have Mothra be the next Telus animal for years!
Post a Comment