Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Mr. & Mrs. Serious Voter Debate Voting For Obama, O'Reilly Style

(SCENE: The kitchen of Mr. and Mrs. SERIOUS VOTER. Mr. SV is sitting at the table, reading the Sports section of the newspaper, which he holds upside-down. Mrs. SV places a frozen chicken finger in the cat's food dish.)

MR: Me am confused by Presidential politics!

MRS: Me am too! Me am not sure which Barack Obama to vote for!

MR: Me want more choices from a President. Barack Obama not be like John McCain. John McCain be tortured when McCain am prisoner of war. Him big hero! Now McCain am in favor of torture so him look tough on terrorists! Him big bully!

MRS: John McCain give us choice of John McCains to vote for!

MR: McCain like choices!

MRS: (Sweeping away starved corpse of the the cat) And McCain NOT like choices! Him change mind, him say Constitutional amendment overturning Roe V. Wade am now good idea!

MR: Him call Jerry Falwell "an agent of intolerance" then him kiss Falwell's ass and hire Falwell's debate coach!

MRS: Him co-sponsor campaign finance reform bill... then him NOT support own bill!

MR: See? Lots of McCains to choose from! Obama? Just one Obama. Me not sure which Obama to vote for.

MRS: Me vote for Obama who states a position, or Obama who follows through on what Obama say?

MR: Me am confused by only one Obama! (repeatedly smashes a sealed can of beans against his forehead) And me am hungry! Ow! Hungry hurts!

MRS: Me try to open beans! (Looking in refrigerator) Hey! Shotgun am not in fridge! How me open beans?

MRS: (Excitedly) Look! Bill O'Reilly am on TV!

MR: Him help us make informed choice!

MR & MRS: (chanting) No spin! No spin! No spin!...



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