Thursday, July 10, 2008

What If Telus And BCE Ran The Post Office?

BCE and Telus have announced that, starting in August, customers without service contracts will be charged fifteen cents per incoming text message... even the ones they didn't ask for.

(SCENE: Dave Consumer's house. The doorbell rings and DAVE answers. The LETTER CARRIER is there holding out the mail, but does not hand it over)

LC: Here's your mail.

DC: Thanks (Waits for LETTER CARRIER to hand it over)

LC: That'll be one dollar and forty-three cents.

DC: Umm... what for?

LC: We have a new policy. Your mail is fifteen cents a piece unless you have a contract with us.

DC: What? Fifteen cents a piece?

LC: That's right... plus tax. It's all driven by market forces. Can't argue with market forces, can you?

DC: Sure I can. Most of this stuff doesn't look like mail I even expected.

LC: I dunno... looks like Ming's Kitchen here is having a take-out deal. That might be something you'd want.

DC: Or it might not. Either way, I won't know until I've paid for it. And... wait a minute... none of those things say "postage due"!

LC: No, of course not. We don't do COD any more.

DC: So, let me get this straight... you expect me to pay to receive mail I didn't ask for that someone else has already paid for to send to me?

LC: Look pal, you want your mail or not? Of course... if you have a "rate protection plan" in place you could get all your mail for one low monthly price (some conditions apply)! We have a number of options all tailored to your individual needs, and you can change your rate protection plan at any time over the three year term ($20 change fee applies)! Imagine the convenience of getting all your mail for one low monthly fee (subject to a network access fee)!

DC: All my mail that someone else already paid to send to me.

LC: Well, like I said, we don't do COD.

DC: So you're doing this to make me agree to a service contract, aren't you?

LC: I prefer the term "rate protection plan" or (better yet!) "bundled service."

DC: Call it what you will, it's still a contract. (Sigh) I give up. (Hands over the money)

LC: Okay. (Hands DAVE the mail) Here's your power bill, your cell phone bill, a letter from your Aunt, four take-out menus, and a package from Taser International of Scottsdale, Arizona.

DC: (Examining the Taser parcel) Hmmm. These things usually take less than 24 hours to charge up. Will you be back around this time tomorrow?

LC: Yes.

DC: Good. I'll be waiting for you.


Click below to do something about it!

Stop the text message cash-grab

1 comment:

Andrew said...

Dude, check out the checkbox on this:

You sign the NDP petition to stop the 15 cent/text charge and can click a box to receive occasional text messages from Canada’s NDP...that you'll get charged 15 cents for if you're with Telus/Bell.