Monday, July 21, 2008

Please Ignore The Children's Corpses: Enjoying Your Italian Vacation

Italy has found a way to steal some vacation business from The Beijing Olympics, with a fun-loving nationwide re-creation of the golden age of Italy. No, no the Roman Empire part... the fascism and genocide part.

Here are some of the exciting events you'll see:

-The registration and identification of ethnic minorities (ie, the Roma (Gypsy) population

-The peaceful silence as the European Union and the rest of the world does absolutely bugger all about it!

-Mysterious deaths of ethnic minorities where local officials take the patently ridiculous first story they hear that claims it was "an accident."

-Hand out racist leaflets. You have the backing of Italy's courts. Who knows... it might even help you get elected mayor, like Flavio Tosi, the mayor of Verona!

Coming soon: free train rides and tattoos!

Here are some handy Italian words and phrases for you to use while enjoying all the fascist, genocidal charms that bella Italia has to offer:

"Mussolini was a good man, and he made the trains run on time":
Il Mussolini era un buono uomo, e ha fatto i treni corrono in orario.

"Ignore the economy... there are strange-looking people next door!"
Ignorare l'economia! Ci sono le persone di guardare strane vicine!

"All Gypsies are thieves."
Tutti gli zingari sono ladri.

"They drowned. There was no crime."
Hanno annegato. Non ci era crimine.

"Don't worry. The rest of the world isn't paying attention. This happened before, in Germany."
Ne preoccupazione. Il resto del mondo non sta prestando attenzione. Ciò è accaduto in Germania.

See? Even hatred sounds better in Italian. Memorize these phrases and hateful attitudes and you'll fit in perfectly! And of course... you'll want to fit in, in Italy. Look what happens if you don't.


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1 comment:

angelineelise said...

I would also know how to ask where the Donkey Show is and point out that Slash's guitar solo in this song is really bitchin'!

Thanks!

ps- These phrases are just as golden in English and applicable in the US as far as I'm concerned.

pps-love the picture!