Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Halo 3: The Giuliani Level (SPOILERS!)

One of the biggest challenges players of Halo 3 face is a level mid-way through the game. The alien Covenant has invaded Earth, and replaced most of its leaders with terrorism-obsessed clones.

One vital mission the player must finish is infiltrating a Rudy Giuliani fundraiser, otherwise level boss Giuliani will gain access to the nuclear stockpile, thus ending the game.

Although Rudy comes equipped with a plasma cannon built into his chest, and wave after wave of henchmen, his greatest weapon is one players of previous Halos haven't encountered before: The Rhetoric Bomb.

Rudy is encountered at a Young Republicans fundraiser/Halo LAN party where funds are being raised $9.11 at a time.

Instead of individually picking off all the grunts and honor guards protecting Rudy, dodge left around the couch and make a run straight for the kitchen, where Rudy sits drinking a Heineken. Dodge the sycophants -- their energy swords are fully charged with rhetoric, which replenishes itself when in Rudy's vicinity. Fend off the Young Republicans with grenades. If you are playing on hard or legendary level, you will have to do this multiple times.

Once the henchmen are cleared, Giuliani can be defeated as follows:

Dodge left, duck behind the stove, and double-tap X to ask Rudy why, if he's such a hero of 9/11, do New York fireman generally despise him for leaving the FDNY tragically underfunded on 9/11.

This will slow Rudy down enough for you to dodge right and press Y to ask him about his role in downplaying the health effects of the WTC bombing when, apparently, he knew better. Or should have.

At this point Giuliani will attempt to use the Rhetoric Bomb and start talking about family values. Before the bomb can detonate, quickly press Y,Y,X then jump in order to unleash a question about how any sane adult could be married to his second cousin for 14 years without knowing it, then have the balls to have it annulled (pleading ignorance) when the press figures it out.

Rudy then keels over and dies. After this, the player finishes the Heineken to replenish his shields, and then it's off to the ruins of Salt Lake City to face Mitt Romney.

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