Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Joseph Farah: Larry Craig's Gay Men's Room Sex Is Protected By The Constitution (As Long As There's No Marriage Involved)

Here's the latest fresh batch of Neocon Doublethink from World Net Daily, and please forgive my convulsive laughter.

Founder/ragmeister Joseph Farah insists that Senator Larry Craig's sleazy bathroom sex is protected by the US Constitution.

(Pause for laughter)

"There is little ambiguity in Article 1: Section 6, which clearly states no member of Congress can be arrested while traveling to or from official session."

(Pause for more laughter)

Seriously. Here's Article 1, Section 6:

"The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States. They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.

No Senator or Representative shall, during the Time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civil Office under the Authority of the United States, which shall have been created, or the Emoluments whereof shall have been encreased during such time; and no Person holding any Office under the United States, shall be a Member of either House during his Continuance in Office."

(I'm no lawyer, but it sounds to me like this section was put in to prevent anyone trying to shake down legislators over spurious legal crap in order to influence policy. You know... kinda like trying to paralyze a Presidency over an impromptu office blowjob, or whatever.)

Larry Craig was busted shortly after 12 PM. he voted on a measure in the Senate that day shortly before 6 PM. Therefore, busting Craig five hours before he votes is a violation of the Constitution. Honest, he was headed right for the Senate. But, being a Man Of The People... (Insert your own "polling the electorate" joke here.)

We've all sat back and watched the Republican Hypocrisy Boil swell and grow over the years. Larry Craig may be the first dribble of putrescence that heralds the explosion. Stand back, America! Ewww.

To be honest with you, this is just so damned screwed up I honestly don't know where to start. So... hot off the request line... here's Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne just for you, Joseph Farah! Can't wait until that "Values Voter" thing you're hosting... it's bound to be a laugh-fest.


Cliff said...

Being arrested for public incency, solicitation, whatever qualifies as a 'breach of the peace' under the statute.

The Democrats are praying for Craig to fight this - it would dominate the airwaves for multiple news cycles. It's a sign of the power loss of the GOP that they don't seem to have been able to buy or threaten Craig off from desperately trying to salvage his senatorial career rather than slinking off to obscurity as most of the party would clearly prefer.

Matthew The Astrologer said...

If Craig fights it... and it's starting to look more and more all the time like he's going to... I'll be there. With popcorn.