Friday, September 28, 2007

Rush Limbaugh Pulls His Patriotism Out Of His Ass

It may be time to invent a new word: neocrit.

Neocrit (noun): a neocon hypocrite, particularly one who makes a living selling it to the rubes.

Examples: Bathroom sex enthusiast Larry Craig (who awaits a court ruling on whether or not it's possible to write laws but not understand how even the basics of the law works) 9/11 "hero" and terror pimp Rudy Giuliani (who is now milking the corpse of the World Trade Center nine dollars and eleven cents at a time), and upholder of the law/accused child molester wannabe John David Roy Atchison, whose Myspace page describes him as an "experienced, understanding, Daddy.” Feel free to vomit: I know I do.

Today's neocrit example: Rush Limbaugh.

Rush, who of course is anti-gay (especially when it comes to Elliot Sanders, who claims to have had a gay fling with Rushy in 1971) has recently decided to show some of his special brand of tough love to those US troops in Iraq who, after having gathered first-hand evidence, have decided that the war is a bad idea.

Or, as Rush likes to call them... "the phony soldiers."

Real patriots, of course, fall into two categories: those who follow orders without question, and those like Rush who would love to have the opportunity to kill Godless foreigners, but just couldn't. In this case, Rush slipped past the draft because of, literally... a cyst on his ass. He tries to deny it, of course. But denying it doesn't make it less true.

Sure. Maybe a boil on his ass kept Rush from doing his patriotic duty.

And maybe it was completely innocent when he travelled to the Dominican Republic with four men and 29 Viagra tablets mislabelled as belonging to someone else, leaving his wife behind in the US of A. Beats me. I'm not a proper journalist like Rush Limbaugh: I just look up facts and verify them.

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